I will graduate in May. Five words that I recognize should elicit some sense of joy and relief. Yet in place of feeling joyful I feel panicked. My heart begins to race as my mind sputters one thought upon another . . . I feel it even now, my heartbeat increasing as I think about this semester and the next. Latin, statistics, anthropology, geology, senior thesis, my current schedule is in order, yet it looks and feels foreign to me. What destiny have I put in place? Latin? Why am I learning Latin when I want to speak Italian? This question is easy, the school does not offer Italian, as an aspiring writer Latin is a logical choice. Aspiring writer? When did I become an aspiring writer? It's always been teaching. And I have not taken one single writing class, and when would I write? I hardly have time to place a few words on a blog every now and then. My degree has no room for writing classes, for pots of paint and empty canvas, for literature to inspire or enrage. How did I get to here? Academically speaking I have arrived at a juncture that has me questioning my academic career and the choices I have made.

New arrivals

My sister Heather is having a baby boy in January. My sister Emily is adopting, probably around the same time. We are very excited to have two new members of our family on their way. Perrie is alight with anticipitation, looking forward to baby showers and trips to the hospital, Perrie has also offered her babysitting services!

I neglected to add one very important point about swimming, or perhaps this will be two. First, I have been taking myself to swim alone, without Perrie, this provides a completely new dynamic to being in the pool. And second, swimming in the nude is by far superior to the only other option - the swimsuit. I first swam nude years ago with my sisters, I had taken Perrie to Florida on my family vacation; after tucking her in at night my sisters and I would head to the backyard and swim in all our glory under the stars. I loved it! In fact, it is one of the few moments in my life when I have felt completely uninhibited. Few things in life are better! I would love to find a nude beach.

I have begun to swim again. It feels wonderful, water rushing over skin, the dive into a calm pool of water . . . I had allowed myself to forget how light my body feels in the pool, how calm my senses become, how flexible my body feels, head arched back, stretched in the water I feel weightless . . . euphoric.



I end each night in the hot tub, steam rising in the dark . . . looking up at the moon, water slowly dripping off my body, the experience is one of reverence, one of calm.

I just came home from the country. When I say “country” I am speaking of Southern Utah, Toquerville to be exact, a small town that lies on Zion’s horizon. Through the kitchen window you can watch the sun rise over Zion’s peaks.
Toquerville is a four hour drive south on I-15. A town of folk and farm that evokes images one might call “Rockwell-esque”. It is easy for me to relax there, easy to sleep late and retire early. It feels good to be under the sun and in the gardens. One afternoon picking strawberries, the next making jam. I came home with a bounty, fresh picked corn and carrots, zucchini and squash, tomatillos and Serrano’s, leeks and kohl rabi. Fresh herbs and homemade breads. The afternoon spent making strawberry and blackberry jams and syrups was my favorite.
Perrie loves being in Toquerville, we went to the Tuacahn outdoor theater while we were there. An hour’s drive from Toquerville the Tuacahn sits among a backdrop of red rock, the location sets a stunning stage. Perrie also loves going to the theater, especially musicals, at Tuacahn we saw the musical Les Miserable. We hope to drive down in September and see the Secret Garden, (if I can break away from school for a few days). It felt wonderful to get away from the house and the move and even the dogs. I felt rested.